A Teenager Waking Up to Anxiety

Guest Blogger – Marissa
Marissa is a 16-year-old sophomore in a Florida high-school     The anxiety of a teenage girl in high school runs deep, really deep. From the moment you step on campus the very first day of your freshman year the battle begins. I’m talking about the battle between girls. We judge, hurt, and betray each other every single day. Not necessarily you or I every day but someone, more than one,  will do it every day.In my freshmen year, I was just adjusting to high school life, making new friends, learning how the school works, and figuring out the ways of the teens around me. I was always decently popular, but I had my share of enemies just like everyone else. In middle school, I had been bullied and targeted multiple times for rumors and trash talk which isn’t good but to be highly expected in middle school. Little did I know, I was in for the rumor that could ruin me all because of nothing………..
     It started out as any other morning, I ate breakfast, got ready, got on the bus, went to school. Even walking into school everything was normal. I went to my locker and stopped to talk to my friends before class started. When I finally get to class, I notice a few more people staring at me as if they were waiting for me to come in. My tactic for people who stare is to stare back until they look away or step up and tell me what their problem is. So this is what I did. Finally, some girl I had known throughout middle school approached me and pulled me to the side. She had a sly smile on her face that was kind of pissing me off. “Are you pregnant?” she said softly with the fake smile. I looked at her with an eyebrow raised. I can’t say I was surprised considering all the rumors I had to deal with before and not to mention the two freshman girls who actually were pregnant.     “Who told you that?” I said looking her dead in the eye.
“Um, it’s kinda just going around.” she said.
“Really?” I said with a laugh. “Well no, I’m not.”I kept it in the back of my mind but didn’t worry to much because you shouldn’t let rumors get you down. My motto was always “As long as you know the truth, why worry about anybody else’s story”. But this wasn’t going to die down that easy.The next day, I was asked more and more, by my best friends, my other friends, acquaintances, people I see around, people who knew me mutually, and complete strangers. I even had one person tell me that they heard I said “yes” when someone ask me. A good friend of mine was my math teacher, she was 26 years old and it was her first year teaching, she was cool. I’m not sure how we became close, but we did. I had her for study hall at the end of the day and I came to sit next to her at her desk like I did every day and even she asked me. She told me all of her classes were talking about it and she had hoped it wasn’t true. When I went home, I got on Facebook.  I had 5 new friend requests from people I didn’t know but who went to my school (probably wanting to see who the pregnant girl was). I also had messages from people asking me if I was pregnant, who is the dad, how far along I am, or just telling me congratulations. I scrolled down my news feed to find status updates that said things like, “Why is everybody getting pregnant?” , “Wow, 3 pregnant freshman”, “I don’t care what you’re excuse is, you were stupid and now you’re pregnant”. This was out of control.

As the week went on, the rumor still spread and I had people staring at my stomach as if it had growing fetus inside. I was scared and anxious. I didn’t want to go to school, I didn’t want to face anybody, I didn’t want my teachers to think I was a bad kid. I had to though, I had to go to school, and face it or it would become worse. This is the best example for anxiety in my experiences so far, because I knew so many things could have been effected if the rumor spread to the wrong people. It’s scary to be judged for something that isn’t even real. The rumor died down, but the anxiety did not. Even today, some people say that I faked the pregnancy for attention. No matter how much you try to push it down, as a teenager you will always have anxiety and it took me awhile to understand this because I was so used to pushing things down, putting my walls up, closing the doors.

This overall experience has taught me that you can’t let anxiety ruin you. You have to overcome and face the things in life that scare you or else you won’t get anywhere. This is what I have done and it has made me so much stronger. It also teaches you that you should be on your guard and be aware that rumors can and will happen and you have to be ready to face them whether they be true or not. Anxiety can be a good thing, because it teaches a lesson every time. It’s hard to find, but always there.

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